Kung Flu

Despite my best efforts, it was bound to happen: I finally got hit by a mid-afternoon flu. One minute I’m thinking about going for a run, the next I realize I’m hella achey, my lungs are filled with razor blades, and I have a serious case of the Katy Perrys*. Don’t worry though- I think that, as far as flus go, it’s a pretty mild one and I will totally kick it’s ass, especially since FX had a pretty fantastic lineup today to guide my healing.

First up: How to Train Your Dragon. If you haven’t seen this movie, WHY HAVEN’T YOU SEEN THIS MOVIE?? It’s a $2.99 rental on Amazon. WORTH IT. For one, it stars that kid who was on Undeclared, and for two, it stars my cat:

the resemblance is uncanny.

McGee cat watched it with me while we learned valuable lessons about understanding the motives of others rather than just fighting, and then we both promptly fell asleep, and then woke up an hour later as I burst into flames. Much to our surprise, we were no longer watching dragons, but pandas. Kung Fu Panda, to be exact. I forgot how kind of awesome this movie is- how sweet Po is to his dad (Lo Pan!) even though he doesn’t want to grow up to be a noodle man, how excited he is to learn kung fu, the fact that David Cross is a cartoon kung fu master (?!!?), the wisdom of the tortoise (“Look at this tree, Shifu: I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time.”) You’re right, Oogway. I need to ride this sick out. Get me an English muffin, stat.

Next up: The Karate Kid. No, not the 1984 classic, but the 2010 remake. I know I’m going to lose my 80’s card when I say this, but… I like this version. Don’t get me wrong- I will always consider Daniel Larusso the ONLY karate kid. I mean, who else could dress up as a shower for Halloween?? But putting nostalgia aside, the movie has it’s flaws. I mean, he only really learns a couple of blocks, gets his ass kicked in a tournament because hello, he never trained in sparring, and then busts out one lucky kick because Johnny failed to sweep the leg. The remake is more of an homage. It stars younger kids, takes place in China, and the Cobra Kai-equivalent kids are total assholes!! I mean, they’re like in 6th grade, and they beat the crap out of Jaden Smith. Which leads us to, dun dun dun… JACKIE CHAN. His take on the role of mentor is sweet and reserved, and his recount of losing his family is utterly heartbreaking. Also: fire cupping. Get over your 80’s pride and give Jaden a chance. I promise it doesn’t suck! But just like eating vegetarian “meat”, it’s better if you go into it thinking it’s not actually going to be a bacon replica.

Lesson to be learned here: go back to kickboxing class! I mean, hang your jacket up. I mean, live with honor and respect no matter what. And I should probably get some fire cupping done once I’m healthy because it’s awesome.

Tonight will conclude with The Walking Dead, because I can totally relate, and maybe some ice cream? (But for serious don’t count on me to be an asset in a zombie apocalypse because I’m going to want to help everybody and I don’t like hitting anything in the face. So, sorry.)

*I’m hot! Then I’m cold! huh?? huhhh??

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *